The End of Everything...

As I've mentioned I like watching shows about our Universe, wish I would have gone into physics that's my one and only real educational regret.  I was very good at math and loved science with a passion, still do.

My family was great and placed a high value on education, but it wasn't an educationally based family.  I don't know what one is like but I think parents with higher education would instill a competitive nature in their children concerning education and teach them to structure that into their life, basic things that are key to education like the hours of study time it takes.

I never studied till I got to college, study what's that?

Oh well the point of this story is what happened to me about two weeks ago.  It was very strange.

I have sleep apnea but haven't had an episode like what happened a few weeks ago, at least that's what I think happened. 

Out of a dead sleep I heard a pop or a bang, it was like a long ways off it seemed like a transformer that blew but was further away and more powerful.  Immediately the bizarre thought hit me this is the end of the Universe, everything.

That scared me, I opened my eyes and it was pitch black total nothingness.  Scientists think that some invisible dark gravity has grown so powerful that one day it will simply tear all the molecules in the universe apart.  What a hellish way for it all to end.

In not much more than an instant I wondered how would I know it was the end of the universe, I fought to open my eyes and look at the clock, I did and it was still pitch black.  OK but I'm still thinking it can't be, breathe ....  breathe ....

My throat was collapsed, I gasped then it opened and I heard that sound like someone gasping for air who narrowly escaped drowning.  In that same moment I could see, the clock was on no transformer blew or the power would be out in my neighborhood.

Maybe one blew on a street nearby. 

I am not sure what happened to me that night but I'm convinced that it gave me a glimpse of what the end of everything would be like.

One minute you are there, the next perhaps a pop maybe not even that, but if goes from everything to nothing, total darkness, no warning nothing, in an instant. 

This wasn't a pleasant thing that's for sure but fortunately a strong feeling came over me, it was very comforting.  The thought that hit me said it will probably happen that way but not in my life time.

So I went back to sleep in the near pitch black of my bed room. 

Further thought as the days pass from the experience I will never understand, I did call a VA nurse to write a note to the doctor, she said she didn't know what to report!  Too funny...

I am always thinking or perhaps hoping that we will survive, somehow.  Its been a theory I've heard for a while now that highly developed civilizations will move away from Galactic chaos and live on the outskirts of Galaxies in safer more controllable environments. 

I'd think they might want to be on the edge of our Universe if that's possible.  But then again where does any society, any higher form of intelligence go after a very long term.  Think of what we would become after a billion years?  Without major setbacks to the progressions of the sciences and technology. 

Where do they go, what do they become, after very long periods of time what would the driving force be?  If they began to live for a very long time wouldn't boredom become a factor, oh they'd probably have the boredom gene wiped out. 

I wish the human race well.  Hope it continues, where it goes will be our legacy if we are fortunate enough to get that far.

96-year-old Velda Bennett of Eustis...

Velda Bennett update.

She's paid her house taxes so she's good to go.  In case this is your first time reading this Velda lives in Eustis, she's 96 years old and still mows her own yard and drives her own car.

Caught up with Velda a couple of weeks ago, before she didn't know how she was going to pay her $1,700 property taxes and thought she may have to sell her home.

Velda said, "It's like giving up."

But fortunately it didn't come to that.  Velda said she's going to put a little away each month for next year.

"My kids wouldn't help me after all I've done for them,"  Velda stated.  "I asked them if they could just send me a little each month, they said 'we're on a budget'."

Velda said there were times all she had was coffee and bread.

But the four-foot ten-inch gal just bursting with life said, "That's OK.  I'm going to meet our maker before they will.  When I get up there I'm going to tell Him how they've been treating me.  He'll take care of them!"

Oh the American spirit, you want a prime example of it just go talk to Velda Bennett it just doesn't get any better than that old gal...

Movies That Don't Suck

Movies has been a part of my life, there is nothing like going to a theater and watching one although that is something I don't do any more. Started renting them now wait for them to come out on TV.

Felt movies were the major art form of the 20th century. Nothing like the portrayal of a darn good story on film. Here is a list of those movies I've enjoyed and can watch over and over again. Wish they'd show these over and over again, several of them they do.

Movies has been a part of my life, there is nothing like going to a theater and watching one although that is something I don't do any more. Started renting them now wait for them to come out on TV.
Felt movies were the major art form of the 20th century. Nothing like the portrayal of a darn good story on film. Here is a list of those movies I've enjoyed and can watch over and over again. Wish they'd show these over and over again, several of them they do.



List updated March 11, 2011 from suggestions from GatorCountry forums
Alien – All (first was best)
As Good as it Gets
Ben-Hur
Big
Caddyshack
Chinatown
Clockwork Orange
Cool Hand Luke
Dances with Wolves
Das Boot
Deer Hunter
Die Hard – All (first was best)
Dr. Strangelove
El Cid
ET
Excalibur
Eyes Wide Shut
Forbidden Planet (trend setting movie)
Forest Gump
Four Weddings and a Funeral
French Connection
Fugitive
Gandhi
Gladiator (2000)
Godfather (I&II)
Independence Day
It’s a Wonderful Life
L.A. Confidential
Lawrence of Arabia
Lord of the Rings - All
Manchurian Candidate (1962)
Mash
Midnight Cowboy
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
Mrs Doughtfire
Mutiny on the Bounty (1962)
Network
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Patton
Platoon
Pulp Fiction
Pulse
Raiders of the Lost Ark
Renegade (2004)
Road Warrior
Rocky
Saving Private Ryan
Scarface
Seven or Se7en
Shawshank Redemption
Silence of the Lambs
Silent Hill
Sleepless in Seattle
Spartacus
Soylent Green
Stargate
Star Wars - All (first was best)
Stay Alive
Taxi Driver
The African Queen
The Deer Hunter
The Exorcist
The Graduate
The Matrix
The Outlaw Josie Wales
Tootsie
Tremors
Underworld: Evolution
Unforgiven (1992)
Usual Suspects
Wall Street
12 Angry Men
1984
2001 a Space Oddyssey
5th Element

List updated March 11, 2011 from suggestions from GatorCountry forums

Alien – All (first was best)
As Good as it Gets
Ben-Hur
Big
Caddyshack
Chinatown
Clockwork Orange
Cool Hand Luke
Dances with Wolves
Das Boot
Deer Hunter
Die Hard – All (first was best)
Dr. Strangelove
El Cid
ET
Excalibur
Eyes Wide Shut
Forbidden Planet (trend setting movie)
Forest Gump
Four Weddings and a Funeral
French Connection
Fugitive
Gandhi
Gladiator (2000)
Godfather (I&II)
Independence Day
It’s a Wonderful Life
L.A. Confidential
Lawrence of Arabia
Lord of the Rings - All
Manchurian Candidate (1962)
Mash
Midnight Cowboy
Mr. Smith Goes to Washington
Mrs Doughtfire
Mutiny on the Bounty (1962)
Network
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Patton
Platoon
Pulp Fiction
Pulse
Raiders of the Lost Ark
Renegade (2004)
Road Warrior
Rocky
Saving Private Ryan
Scarface
Seven or Se7en
Shawshank Redemption
Silence of the Lambs
Silent Hill
Sleepless in Seattle
Spartacus
Soylent Green
Stargate
Star Wars - All (first was best)
Stay Alive
Taxi Driver
The African Queen
The Deer Hunter
The Exorcist
The Graduate
The Matrix
The Outlaw Josie Wales
Tootsie
Tremors
Underworld: Evolution
Unforgiven (1992)
Usual Suspects
Wall Street
12 Angry Men
1984
2001 a Space Oddyssey
5th Element
(Hey it's the off season. Have one post that's going up sometime tomorrow that has blocked this man for a week and Swampie doesn't have any idea why? Its not that big a deal...)

96-year-old Velda Bennett

Velda Bennett lives in Eustis, she's 96 years old and still mows her own yard and drives her own car.

Velda Bennett likes to live in her home on Center Street the same block that's dominated by the Catholic Church.

But she doesn't have the $1,700 to pay her property taxes and may have to sell her home.

Velda said, "It's like giving up."

And that's something she doesn't want to do.

Need to start a fund for this little lady, she's bright as an evening star and every inch of her four-foot ten-inch frame is just teaming with spirit.

There must be something we can do for her.

One of the Best Things in My Life....

I think of myself as a blessed man.

The Good Lord has blessed me...
- He brought me into a loving family and gave me the best mother and father anyone could possibly hope for...
- He gave me the gift of soberity and a second chance to grow up.
- He put me in a position to help others...

I needed help in quitting drinking, I didn't drink everyday but when I did I couldn't stop myself. I got into all sorts of trouble I'd never get into sober. Thank God there came that day when I had enough and was led to the best place for me to get help.

I ended up going to self help groups and a meeting called YANA - the You Are Not Alone group that met three times a week. We'd meet then after we'd go out and drink even more coffee. The group was comprised of a base of about six old timers.

The meeting after the meeting was at a local Pizza Hut. There was the small talk and a lot of bonding. A few times I heard talk of how they thought about getting their own place for years most groups like this rent a room from a church for an evening.

Anyway the word got out that the church we had been using asked us to look for a new place they were in need of the space.

Anyway I often went to the first little tiny strip maul in Eustis, it began as a grocery store with five small store fronts to the side. But the store had long since moved away.

It was next to the Bay Street Baptist Church and had a popular Casa Manyata/Hay Stack restaurant taking two of the store fronts (yes the restaurant had two names! LOL - hey it's Eustis). I often got a beef burrito to go at lunch I was in the construction business.

Beside the two name restaurant there was a rental that had just closed, it was a paint shop. That day I noticed the phone number on it to call to see about renting it.

I wrote it down, as I said that group was looking for somewhere else to land.

So I called.

I think they wanted something like 500 to 550 a month. I said there is no way we could pay that. The man asked what we wanted it for.

I said as a self help meeting place. The blessing was in progress it's just that this man had no idea what he had been led too. I found out later the man I was talking too was the owner of the building he said let me get back to you and got my phone number.

He talked to the church and the church wanted us in. When he called back he said the church considered us missionary work.

Then he told me his story that makes my eyes tear to this day.

He told me his father was an alcoholic and had gotten sober in the self help groups, after about seven years his father began relying on the church but his family was eternally grateful to those groups because his father led a blessed life until his death.

They wanted us in...

I told the old times of the YANA group, their jaws dropped, what they kicked around for years had been removed from their topic list but the new guy. I've always been a risk taker so my brother says, my mom and a football coach taught me to give it a try and not fear failure, just do your best.

Well another man jumped in Bob S. and between the two of us we got 20 people to give 50 bucks each, we raised a 1,000 bucks, got the power turned on, water and rent. It was funny as heck people brought in their old furniture, the first thing was a card table, two folding chairs and a coffee pot.

Soon it looked like stuff a Good Will store would turn their back on. Broken down easy chairs, sofas that required the jaws of life to get out of. We loved it.

I paid the bills and collected the money for about six months, a Women's group came in and joined us at the beginning later others joined.

Anyway this man soon stepped aside, I said to myself if this is God's will I have to let it go, it's a very hard thing to accept that you can step back and things can just thrive.

Within two years I heard two people arguing about something concerning the club, I asked what was going on it was about money. Seems they needed something but didn't want to touch the two one-thousand-dollar bonds they had purchased at the bank.

My eyes watered,it was going to be fine. The moved from that spot after several years to Tavares on 441, then back to downtown Eustis over Mary Gardners Jewelers or right next to over it and then to 802 South Bay Street or 804, where it's been for at least 10 years I think.

They had grown to at least one meeting every night, 5:30 happy hour meetings, eye opener and noon meetings. The people there don't even know who started it anymore and that's OK, all I did was call or I like to believe it was all set up by Someone above?

My Brush with a Serial Killer

What a dramatic title, but for the most part it's untrue.  I had a brush with a person who was a perfect candidate to become a serial killer.

My story is frightening and caused an epiphany.

Tommy Lynn Sells killed over 70 people...

Worked as a detox counselor nearly 20 years ago, I only had an AA degree and was going back to college to get a BA in psychology but had just started.  We were responsible for doing consults they weren't that difficult.

You would go and talk with a person and find out about their alcohol or drug background.  You'd try and gauge how forthcoming they were with private information, some were very eager and told you what you needed to know.  If you found three or more symptoms they could be documented and offered for a conclusion of an abuser, five or more either an addict or alcoholic depending on the substance.

It really wasn't that difficult.

Anyway this was one of my first consults, my partner a workhorse and great friend was there longer than I and let me take this one, maybe she heard something I don't know.

You have to realize I have learned so much since this event and it taught me just how much I didn't know.  It taught me how dangerous people can be who don't really know what they are doing in a professional setting.

The client was classic, almost 30, white male, very intelligent, six-foot, 195 pounds very well built, handsome but was balding back to front.  He was extremely angry yet afraid of what he might do, he was guilt ridden.  His anger was directed at women and was having problems dealing with them, he wanted to kill his mother.  He had been in bar fights so he was already acting on his impulses.

Tedd Bundy killed at least 35 women.

I didn't put it together, he really didn't have the symptoms of substance abuse.  I took some time and counseled him on his guilt.   It seemed to help him some, talked about being human, forgiving himself that sort of thing.

There were three people at the staff meeting on this patient, myself, this young woman I had no respect for and an older woman the senior counselor in the facility an MA with 20+ years of experience. I felt she knew what she was talking about.

She hardly talked with me, for some reason people thought that other young woman was an up and comer, I thought she didn't know what the hell she was talking about but she looked like administrative material. She got pushed into the director of the hospital, she was the perfect example of the Peter Principal, she only remained at that position for less than four months before they fired her or demoted her I can't recall which, she was over her head.

With that said, that senior counselor's view that day hit this man in a powerful way. She went over this young man's issues, his profile, everything and asked the gal what she was looking at.

The gal didn't know she was always on empty.

Anyway the senior counselor said, "what we have here is a serial killer, once he gets over his guilt he will start killing."

She went on to say to airhead to spend as much time talking with him as she could because she'd learn a lot. There were lots of windows in that facility and the next week or so I often saw he sitting back like she was on top of the world talking to this troubled man. She wasn't trying to help him just milking him for her own glory, her body posture just made me ill.

But not as ill as I was when I realized at that meeting that I did exactly the opposite of what he needed. I didn't tell them they didn't ask me. But I should have jumped up and said you'd DAM RIGHT to feel GUILTY, DAMMIT MAN you want to KILL YOUR MOTHER!

I should have driven that guilt even further and demanded that he will become accountable for his actions but I didn't know what I was doing either. I was acting like a professional counselor just gathering information and allowing the shrinks to do the heavy work, that was my job. Many said I was very professional acting and everyone makes mistakes.

Looking back at what I can remember the list below are in descending order of importance as far as symptoms of a serial killer...

Bed Wetting - am sure he suffered from them when a child - this can indicate some sort of extreme emotional duress
Rebelliousness - absolutely - evidenced by his feelings toward family and mother
Nightmares - absolutely - comprised of wanting to kill his mother
Destroying Property - yes - in fits of anger
Fire Setting - didn't know
Stealing - not sure
Cruelty to Children - didn't know
Poor Body Image - had too, he was balding and felt horrible about himself
Temper Tantrums - absolutely - bar fights
Sleep Problems - absolutely - see above nightmares
Assaultive to Adults - ABSOLUTELY - was getting in bar fights
Phobias - ABSOLUTELY - feared himself, what he might do, what he could do
Cruelty to Animals - don't know
Accident Prone - don't know
Headaches - absolutely

Serial killers are sexual based from an Aileen Wuornos turbulent life based on sex, anger and revenge, to Ted Bundy's drive for power from a life of rejection driving him to necrophilia.

Bundy didn't wake up a serial killer, from what I've seen about his life he had to cross that threshold becoming empowered with a brutal attack on a woman clubbing her from behind. To me I believe that's when he crossed the line.

Gary Ridgeway the Green River Killer...

Gary Ridgeway the "Green River Killer" killed at least 48 women in Washington. Had issues bed wetting then being bathed right after by his mother wearing only a untied robe. At 16 he stabbed a six-year old boy and laughed about it after. The boy survived but this indicated the sociopath behavior.

What was interesting about Ridgeway is he was able to kill so many women, fly under the radar for so long all this with an IQ of 82. He was so unremarkable that he didn't call attention to himself. He became a true psychopath as described by Wikipedia -

Psychopathy - an abnormal lack of empathy combined with strongly amoral conduct but masked by an ability to appear outwardly normal

There is no way I could kill someone for no good reason, the guilt would destroy me, the fear of getting caught for it would be equally devastating. A war time situation, sure, or defending my own life this man could do that like so many others could and would do faced with those circumstances. Take Bin Laden's life, probably without much remorse at all.

But to do and act the way these guys did, they are a completely different breed and thankfully they are very very rare. Sure there are more of them than any of us would like, and the odds of the young man mentioned above as actually becoming a serial killer are most likely very low. Many will have his symptoms and go through life without acting on them.

Think they catch serial killers a lot faster these days so much has been learned about them. Anyway this was my experience with them.

This is Just Beautiful

Animals really do love their capacity for it is as great as the human race, at last to that level if not beyond. 

Not Man Enough to watch the Evening News

I figured out many years ago that I wasn't man enough to watch the evening news. Hardly ever watch it anymore, bet I haven't watched fifteen times in the last fifteen years. It just got me so worked up.

Guess the thing is all the world problems just show you how helpless you really are. When I was younger I thought I had solutions for those problems at least I grew up enough to learn it was well beyond me education level and experience level. I have sixteen years of school but it's not in any form of government, law, economics, religion, environmental studies, ecology, business, American or World History.

But it still made me upset when I watched so I had to quit. I built my own home over 20 years ago, it had close to a six-hundred foot drive way. I didn't like straight lines and curved it up the hill it turned out really cool. Bent around some trees, the hill was steep and it was suggested to me to put curves in it in an attempt to slow the drainage of water.

Anyway it took a lot of concrete. The concrete company was really good to me. There was a lot of building in my area and they let me lock in a price per yard for my home. Think it was around $40 per yard. But they would give me a call often a truck would be headed back with a yard or two extra that they would just dump back at the yard.

So they gave it to me for no charge, oh those were the days to live in a smaller community and know people.

That price has more than doubled since then and that doesn't include the delivery fee. One huge reason for a dramatic increase in concrete was China's Three Gorges dam they built a while back.

China's Three Gorges Dam, Yangtze River, 26 Billion Dollars, measurements - length 7,661 feet - height 607 feet - width 377, reservoir area - 403 square miles, 35,600,000 cubic yards of concrete...

Developing countries gobbling up resources drives up costs for materials across the world. Copper went nuts and should continue to cost more and more as nations continue to build and require more of this resource for transport of water and electricity.  Right now the world's economy isn't that good it went from 60-cents a pound a 60-year low in 1999 to a high of $3.75 a pound in 2006, in the next year it dropped to 2.40 per pound then back up to 3.50.  Right now it's down to 1.51 in the slowed down economy.

It wears out but it is recyclable.  There is a lot of it on earth but the easy to get to stuff will be out in anywhere from 25 to 60 years.

We face many challenges in the future.

Not looking that far back I don't begin to understand how we had a surplus under Clinton and in eight years and two wars under Bush everything went straight to hell in a hat basket. Now Obama is getting blamed. Nothing makes any sense to me anymore.

I am a veteran but I can't hold my head up about it, I never fought but I came close a few times when I was drunk in Korea and the hookers were clawing at me outside some bar. I don't know why they made a Viet Nam era veteran, I normally don't mention it.

I mentioned it now because the VA has helped me medically speaking for many years, I'm alive today because of their fine care. No way I could afford all the medications I get from them since I had a heart attack nearly ten years ago, they've kept me alive.

From my observations the veterans who go to the VA didn't like Clinton nor Obama, but they liked Bush. I never paid a cent for any care until Bush came in, then we had the co-pay, now that Obama is in they don't ask me for co-pay anymore, that sort of speaks volumes about my economic situation.  Another story for another day.

I say this not to knock Bush down, that isn't my intent here at all. It's just another thing I never understood. Most of the veterans didn't care that he raised the prices for Vets, they loved him for what they felt he represented.

In my opinion political support often develops at a young age some may side with mom, some may side with dad. Not really on ideology that comes later. You love this one or that one more, or you don't like the way this parent argues, you don't know a dam thing about it sort of learn on the run.

The end result is if you were fortunate enough to have two parents, and then fortunate enough to have two parents who disagreed on politics at least you had some sort of choice.  So you sided with one or the other, perhaps that's better than having two of this or that and either siding with them or rebelling against I'd think.

In the end it's my opinion few really search themselves as to why they believe in this or that, they just do.  I think little thought is put into where personal beliefs came from other than the defenses many build to support them.

As you grow you accept the beliefs as your own. At least that's the way I saw it develop in my family one parent was a Democrat the other a Republican. Roosevelt was the greatest ever or he was a son of a bitch.

It's like who was Roosevelt when you were young???

One funny story was when I was young my dad was headed out to vote believe it was the election prior to Kennedy and Nixon.  Anyway my dad stopped and asked me who I should vote for, he never forgot my reply nor would he let me forget.

I said, "vote for Lincoln!"

Much later in my life there came a time when I learned just how grandiose I was and realized I knew nothing about politics much less I had never really looked at what I believed in and why. I realized my base was built on nothing and couldn't begin to solve these world problems that far smarter people than I had worked on for years and yet they lay unresolved.

An old Veteran of WWII talked to me just yesterday. I saw his WWII vet hat and told him my dad was a vet and that he must really be an old timer, the darn guy looked awfully good for a WWII vet hell that's 65 years ago now.

Anyway we began to talk, he came close to me and we were really enjoying each other. He said you know I'm afraid what we're going to leave our children, the young people of our country.

I told him, "I know it." And I did, had to go in a moment but thought of our short conversation several times since.

One thing was he said we are thirteen trillion dollars in debt. Now I don't know that like I said I don't watch the news nor do I get the news paper. He said he didn't know even how many zero's that was.

I told him how many, I watch a lot of astronomy shows. Said it was a thousand-billions. That a million was a one and six zeros, a billion was a thousand millions so it's nine zeros and the next a trillion is a one with twelve zeros. The speed of light travels 9.5 trillion miles in a light year, so if you could get someone to put up a dollar for every mile and go that distance and give it all to pay off our debt, you'd darn near need another half a year, I didn't tell him that had to come home and figure that one out.

So we are nearly 1.5 light years in debt at a buck a mile.

My mind has no real concept of that distance nor do I have any idea how you can get into that kind of mess. But I'd think if you don't pay the bills, start two wars and give tax rebates to stimulate the economy and perhaps get reelected you're playing with rubber dollars and advised by daffy duck economists.

I do not blame George Bush, no I blame all the idiots out there who voted for him.

It's election time again, heard a guy who is running for office first time in his life.  Said he's going to go to Washington and shake things up.  I wondered how many people would buy into that campaign bull shit.  Never been to Washington, doesn't know what the Sam hell is going on up there yet he wants your vote and he's going to shake things up.  

I voted for Regan, the democrats he ran against were horrible. I loved Regan, not sure he was great for our economy but he was a great leader.

We can no longer have fools in Washington people there is way too much at stake. Is Obama the answer, I don't know. What I do know the job was dam near an impossible one that he walked into.

I think he's much smarter than Bush. Bush was a disaster, plain and simple.

We have to be smarter than that in the future, if there is a darn good Republican candidate lets elect him or her, not Sarah please.

I think John McClain would have been a wonderful president and wished he would have beat out Bush. I literally hate finger pointing Republicans their diversionary tactics are childish. Many of them are hate and fear mongers, claim religious values and to often fail miserably in the area of morals.

I'm not saying one is better than the other, I'm just saying there is no black and white, one isn't always right while the other is always wrong.

We have to grow the hell up and become smarter than we've been. What are we going to leave the young people of this nation, they are your responsibility and they are my responsibility.

We have to be smarter for them.

We have to quit looking at short term gains, is this guy going to put more money back into your pocket this year.  Quit listening to people who promise the short term solutions, because there are none and all they really want is your vote.

I didn't just get off the turnip truck.  Think about long term solutions, they aren't pleasant, they aren't easy but the young of our country deserve it.

One last thought.  Because of the vast numbers in China and India compared to our nation it is thought that they will have a greater chance of creating genius types than we do, it's a sort of numbers game.  In France they built the largest super collider on Earth, we took a step back with stem cell research.

China is about a year away from developing an air to sea missile capable of taking out aircraft carriers that will tip the balance of power in that region to them.

Many point to our biggest problem being the cost of Medicine.  We only have ourselves to point to with this issue.  We've allowed obscene profits in this area, people cry that research costs so much and if we took away the profits they wouldn't be able to do research to find new medications.  This is as good as the guy who's never been to Washington but if he gets your vote he'll shake things up.

More research needs to be done in this area to bring down the costs, things like computer diagnostics, advances in computer programming so there isn't so much duplication upon each visit to a medical facility have been made, but needs to continue.

People say don't regulate medicine yet our government already bears the burden of keeping this system afloat.  
We've lead the world in technology and need to continue to stay in that race to help insure our way of life.  We've done a lot to help build the world's economy and make it smaller.

I don't know if this is true or not but I'd think in hard times you need to look even further ahead.  Where are we going to be 25-30 years from now?  Where do you think any of these guys who are going to shake things up see us heading, no please don't ask them I shutter at the thought of their replies.

We can't do a dam thing about now, where we are at today is where we are.  We can work on is what and where we're going, we must do it for our children, the young, what are we going to leave them?

Our society is so entrenched, maybe another great depression is what we need, I don't know.  I just feel our two-party system is nearing it's end at least that is my hope for the future, that and the American people I love so much.  They are crazier than hell and I fit right in...

Don't Rat as Code of Silence vs Honesty

From the jail-house philosophy don't rat on me to doctors who won't rat out incompetent colleagues. There is the police blue code of silence don't rat out other cops and of course the omerta, the Mafia code of silence.

When a person chooses to withhold important information they enter the code of silence. There can be many reasons for this choice, none of them are good reasons.

Perhaps the best reason of all for breaking a code of silence would be when it puts the code breaker into great danger. Many such people enter the code involuntarily.

This code is set on an evil foundation, it is meant to protect those who may choose or plan to do societal harm. For the good of us all this must be broken.

It's no secret that when it comes time many in the Mafia will break their silence, throw their colleagues under the bus if it will benefit them. And this happens long before they are faced with any law enforcement issues. They will weed out their own at a whim if they think they are being cheated or betrayed.

Doctors and police have the same issues although they can't get away with what they used too.

The bottom line is not telling someone about your friends weird behavior, or behavior changes could be their last chance. Kids kill themselves while friends protect their behaviors till the end, preventing them from getting professional help.

Why is dishonesty coveted in so many social circles. Certainly there is that social need to belong to something. A greater social responsibility is to teach our young that honesty is the higher power well above any code of silence.

That having secrets that can harm do no one any good.

Honesty doesn't break codes it shatters them. The best thing about honesty is it develops inner strength and something that seems to be lost in our present society virtue.

Virtue is moral excellence, no we're not talking about running around like a bunch of Tim Tebows and Danny Wuerffels. But they are young men of high virtue.

Honesty does not devalue a person it builds them a foundation of principle and good moral being. Honesty leads to trust and integrity.

What does dishonesty lead to?

Our society really needs to value these traits again, right now we are floundering.

Honesty is a practice no one ever really reaches perfection. As you lead a life of honesty those who are dishonest will not trust you and shy away from you, this will be your gain. Some will resent you or try and control you through intimidation, you stand your ground and they will move away.

Believing in honesty means you will have to develop some diplomacy not all areas like does this make me look fat or how do you like my new red hair require absolute honesty. My favorite old saying is, I'd rather aim at something and just miss it than aim at nothing and hit it dead center.

We don't trust our government and it's not because there are so many who cheat and steal even they are forgiven if they come clean and are honest, well it depends on how bad the things are they did.

I think we all want to be honest, the statement above shows that America is very forgiving when someone is forthcoming about his shortcomings. Athletes, politicians and even criminals all help themselves in public opinion when they just get honest.

It's good, it's healing, it needs to be our goal.

Passion

Saw a line in the movie "Serendipity" and don't know if it's true or not but it was thought provoking to this man. One supporting character wrote obituaries for the news paper it was his line that made this man reflect on his own life.

The line was more or less.....

The Greeks didn’t write obituaries they only asked one question when a man died...

Did he have passion?

Had I lived in those times I would have been remember well. But having great passion does not always translate into success.

Not in this society.

As I've gotten older my hero in life has changed. If there is one man I could choose to be it would be my father.

He was a simple man, he did everything for his children, he worked each day till he had nothing left. He took great pride in his work doing his very best on each job, his work was his pride.

He came home and looked at you, he had three sons and a daughter. That look, he would always have a huge smile for a long time at times it confused me I couldn't match it and wondered what he was so happy about.

We would say, 'hi dad.' He loved to be called dad.

It wasn't until I was older that I realized how great his love was for his children and wife, that's what came out in his booming smile. Pure passion, today they could use the most complicated machinery in the world to measure all the energy in that smile that just exploded off his face.

My father, a stained glass window portrait I made of him 25 years ago, he was a great man, a man of great passion for his family.  He wasn't a scholar but he was a hero, he gave his all to his family.

My mother's smile was radiant, at times I saw the innocence of her youth many times on into age I saw a little girl in that old wrinkled face when she smiled. She was a very special woman with great passion, she ran the house and paid the bills but I don't think she was that way out of choice.

My father chose to be in the provider role although my mother had to work too. He brought in most of the bacon, while my mom had to pay all the bills, do the shopping, take you to the doctor and all that other stuff.

They each did their roles passionately, always look upon my childhood as a great blessing. We had hard times like most any other family had, but there was no abuse, just lots and lots of love. We all had our faults to some degree but we were proud to be Americans and on the right side of the law.

My brother died at 27 he was the hero of the family, I was the baby and 21 at the time. It was horrible going through that. A very passionate family losing a son, a brother, he really did have charisma my parents old Southern home named 'Twelve Oaks' was filled with friends and family for several days. Hundreds of people went to the funeral.

Perhaps something like this is harder on such a family. But there is no other family this man would trade for his own no matter how powerful, how rich, how influential. Passion comes from the soul, the deepest regions of the driving life forces within.

Some are driven in different ways, success can have the rewards from making your family proud of you, to being the provider for your own or the inner drive to achieve. Many things come with it.

But success without passion is empty. Live without passion is empty. Life can be a passion killer to too many. Perhaps that's why this man admires his parents so much, how he reflects back and misses childhood days, just one more supper with the family oh what I'd give for that.

I did not ask for passion, didn't know what it was when I was young, but now I am forever thankful for the passionate life that was given to me from my parents genes, their teaching and by accepting and loving their way of life.

The most important role a man and a woman will ever have in their life will be parenthood. Nothing else comes close. I hope your parents had as much love and pride as my family had.

take care

Childhood

If so many people have special kids at home then how come there are so many ordinary people?

Maybe it's because childhood is special, it's our beginning, it's the beginning. It's free and honest, and hopefully sheltered.

Unfortunately adult life is ordinary the freedoms of childhood lost, responsibilities of adulthood dulls the excitement of discovery and the joy of spontaneous play.

Me thinks all children are very special granted their childhoods aren't wrecked by adults who missed something in theirs.

There is truth and honesty in a child another thing that is left behind as the curse of age pushes us all into adulthood.