My Brush with a Serial Killer

What a dramatic title, but for the most part it's untrue.  I had a brush with a person who was a perfect candidate to become a serial killer.

My story is frightening and caused an epiphany.

Tommy Lynn Sells killed over 70 people...

Worked as a detox counselor nearly 20 years ago, I only had an AA degree and was going back to college to get a BA in psychology but had just started.  We were responsible for doing consults they weren't that difficult.

You would go and talk with a person and find out about their alcohol or drug background.  You'd try and gauge how forthcoming they were with private information, some were very eager and told you what you needed to know.  If you found three or more symptoms they could be documented and offered for a conclusion of an abuser, five or more either an addict or alcoholic depending on the substance.

It really wasn't that difficult.

Anyway this was one of my first consults, my partner a workhorse and great friend was there longer than I and let me take this one, maybe she heard something I don't know.

You have to realize I have learned so much since this event and it taught me just how much I didn't know.  It taught me how dangerous people can be who don't really know what they are doing in a professional setting.

The client was classic, almost 30, white male, very intelligent, six-foot, 195 pounds very well built, handsome but was balding back to front.  He was extremely angry yet afraid of what he might do, he was guilt ridden.  His anger was directed at women and was having problems dealing with them, he wanted to kill his mother.  He had been in bar fights so he was already acting on his impulses.

Tedd Bundy killed at least 35 women.

I didn't put it together, he really didn't have the symptoms of substance abuse.  I took some time and counseled him on his guilt.   It seemed to help him some, talked about being human, forgiving himself that sort of thing.

There were three people at the staff meeting on this patient, myself, this young woman I had no respect for and an older woman the senior counselor in the facility an MA with 20+ years of experience. I felt she knew what she was talking about.

She hardly talked with me, for some reason people thought that other young woman was an up and comer, I thought she didn't know what the hell she was talking about but she looked like administrative material. She got pushed into the director of the hospital, she was the perfect example of the Peter Principal, she only remained at that position for less than four months before they fired her or demoted her I can't recall which, she was over her head.

With that said, that senior counselor's view that day hit this man in a powerful way. She went over this young man's issues, his profile, everything and asked the gal what she was looking at.

The gal didn't know she was always on empty.

Anyway the senior counselor said, "what we have here is a serial killer, once he gets over his guilt he will start killing."

She went on to say to airhead to spend as much time talking with him as she could because she'd learn a lot. There were lots of windows in that facility and the next week or so I often saw he sitting back like she was on top of the world talking to this troubled man. She wasn't trying to help him just milking him for her own glory, her body posture just made me ill.

But not as ill as I was when I realized at that meeting that I did exactly the opposite of what he needed. I didn't tell them they didn't ask me. But I should have jumped up and said you'd DAM RIGHT to feel GUILTY, DAMMIT MAN you want to KILL YOUR MOTHER!

I should have driven that guilt even further and demanded that he will become accountable for his actions but I didn't know what I was doing either. I was acting like a professional counselor just gathering information and allowing the shrinks to do the heavy work, that was my job. Many said I was very professional acting and everyone makes mistakes.

Looking back at what I can remember the list below are in descending order of importance as far as symptoms of a serial killer...

Bed Wetting - am sure he suffered from them when a child - this can indicate some sort of extreme emotional duress
Rebelliousness - absolutely - evidenced by his feelings toward family and mother
Nightmares - absolutely - comprised of wanting to kill his mother
Destroying Property - yes - in fits of anger
Fire Setting - didn't know
Stealing - not sure
Cruelty to Children - didn't know
Poor Body Image - had too, he was balding and felt horrible about himself
Temper Tantrums - absolutely - bar fights
Sleep Problems - absolutely - see above nightmares
Assaultive to Adults - ABSOLUTELY - was getting in bar fights
Phobias - ABSOLUTELY - feared himself, what he might do, what he could do
Cruelty to Animals - don't know
Accident Prone - don't know
Headaches - absolutely

Serial killers are sexual based from an Aileen Wuornos turbulent life based on sex, anger and revenge, to Ted Bundy's drive for power from a life of rejection driving him to necrophilia.

Bundy didn't wake up a serial killer, from what I've seen about his life he had to cross that threshold becoming empowered with a brutal attack on a woman clubbing her from behind. To me I believe that's when he crossed the line.

Gary Ridgeway the Green River Killer...

Gary Ridgeway the "Green River Killer" killed at least 48 women in Washington. Had issues bed wetting then being bathed right after by his mother wearing only a untied robe. At 16 he stabbed a six-year old boy and laughed about it after. The boy survived but this indicated the sociopath behavior.

What was interesting about Ridgeway is he was able to kill so many women, fly under the radar for so long all this with an IQ of 82. He was so unremarkable that he didn't call attention to himself. He became a true psychopath as described by Wikipedia -

Psychopathy - an abnormal lack of empathy combined with strongly amoral conduct but masked by an ability to appear outwardly normal

There is no way I could kill someone for no good reason, the guilt would destroy me, the fear of getting caught for it would be equally devastating. A war time situation, sure, or defending my own life this man could do that like so many others could and would do faced with those circumstances. Take Bin Laden's life, probably without much remorse at all.

But to do and act the way these guys did, they are a completely different breed and thankfully they are very very rare. Sure there are more of them than any of us would like, and the odds of the young man mentioned above as actually becoming a serial killer are most likely very low. Many will have his symptoms and go through life without acting on them.

Think they catch serial killers a lot faster these days so much has been learned about them. Anyway this was my experience with them.

Passion

Saw a line in the movie "Serendipity" and don't know if it's true or not but it was thought provoking to this man. One supporting character wrote obituaries for the news paper it was his line that made this man reflect on his own life.

The line was more or less.....

The Greeks didn’t write obituaries they only asked one question when a man died...

Did he have passion?

Had I lived in those times I would have been remember well. But having great passion does not always translate into success.

Not in this society.

As I've gotten older my hero in life has changed. If there is one man I could choose to be it would be my father.

He was a simple man, he did everything for his children, he worked each day till he had nothing left. He took great pride in his work doing his very best on each job, his work was his pride.

He came home and looked at you, he had three sons and a daughter. That look, he would always have a huge smile for a long time at times it confused me I couldn't match it and wondered what he was so happy about.

We would say, 'hi dad.' He loved to be called dad.

It wasn't until I was older that I realized how great his love was for his children and wife, that's what came out in his booming smile. Pure passion, today they could use the most complicated machinery in the world to measure all the energy in that smile that just exploded off his face.

My father, a stained glass window portrait I made of him 25 years ago, he was a great man, a man of great passion for his family.  He wasn't a scholar but he was a hero, he gave his all to his family.

My mother's smile was radiant, at times I saw the innocence of her youth many times on into age I saw a little girl in that old wrinkled face when she smiled. She was a very special woman with great passion, she ran the house and paid the bills but I don't think she was that way out of choice.

My father chose to be in the provider role although my mother had to work too. He brought in most of the bacon, while my mom had to pay all the bills, do the shopping, take you to the doctor and all that other stuff.

They each did their roles passionately, always look upon my childhood as a great blessing. We had hard times like most any other family had, but there was no abuse, just lots and lots of love. We all had our faults to some degree but we were proud to be Americans and on the right side of the law.

My brother died at 27 he was the hero of the family, I was the baby and 21 at the time. It was horrible going through that. A very passionate family losing a son, a brother, he really did have charisma my parents old Southern home named 'Twelve Oaks' was filled with friends and family for several days. Hundreds of people went to the funeral.

Perhaps something like this is harder on such a family. But there is no other family this man would trade for his own no matter how powerful, how rich, how influential. Passion comes from the soul, the deepest regions of the driving life forces within.

Some are driven in different ways, success can have the rewards from making your family proud of you, to being the provider for your own or the inner drive to achieve. Many things come with it.

But success without passion is empty. Live without passion is empty. Life can be a passion killer to too many. Perhaps that's why this man admires his parents so much, how he reflects back and misses childhood days, just one more supper with the family oh what I'd give for that.

I did not ask for passion, didn't know what it was when I was young, but now I am forever thankful for the passionate life that was given to me from my parents genes, their teaching and by accepting and loving their way of life.

The most important role a man and a woman will ever have in their life will be parenthood. Nothing else comes close. I hope your parents had as much love and pride as my family had.

take care